Mary Poppins
by ScorplinginTraining
Summary: Because Paige Dineen is practically perfect in every way. Rated 'T' for language. Well, quoted language.


**MARY POPPINS**

 **AN:** _**Constructive**_ **Criticism** – "The process of offering _valid_ and _well-reasoned_ opinions about the work of others, usually involving both positive and negative comments, in a _friendly_ manner rather than an oppositional one." – Definition cited from definition dot net.

 **In order to avoid being accused of plagiarism, I'd like to give credit for the following comments I recently received on a couple of my stories. However, these reviews were left anonymously. The readers will understand why as soon as they read them.**

"God you are a horrible bitch! Paige has every right to feel like she does! Why is Walter even wth her when he only wants to spent time with Ralph? He did that before they were together. Paige deserves better than such an inconsiderate asshole."

"Can't roll my eyes hard enough at reading such bull. So it's okay for Walter to do nothing but hurting Paige since season one but her lashing out because of what he did is wrong? You ladies who are babying Walter and excusing everything he does by blaming Paige should go to therapy ASAP. Are you all in a abusive relationship or why do you think it's okay for Walter to treat Paige like shit? He became such an asshole in season 4 that so many people started to not like him anymore. Except for certain waige shippers who have an unhealthy view of relationships. Who fall for Walter and his looks and can't think straight anymore. Did you forget how he played with Paige for two seasons? Drawing her in and giving her hope only for him to push her way all the time? How he used her for comfort after Megan's death and agin gave her hope and then started dating other woman? Is this how you think of woman? That they should be sitting around and waiting until their master tells them they now can be together and then jump into his waiting arms? I was happy for her when she dated Tim. Walter deserved that. She had to move on when Walter showed her so clearly that they won't ever be together. Did you also forget how he fired her in season 3? You say bullshit about family but where was this family then? In season one Walter told Paige that she has now found her group and a family. And its okay for him to kick her out of said family without any reason? And again it's expected of her to come running back into his arms because he said he only did because he loves her. How is that an excuse for treating her like shit? At the end of season 4 he deserved what he got. He neglected Paige and lied to her over and over. Happy and Toby warned him and he was so arrogant and didn't listen. Just because he saved them once doesn't mean that he can treat them all like shit and they have to just take it. People like you have to take off their rose couloured Walter glasses and realize what he has done and where he has gone wrong."

 **In case you couldn't wade through all the run-on sentences, bad grammar and misspellings, I'll give you the gist:**

 **-This author is a "horrible bitch" and I require therapy because I dare to see things differently than this reviewer. My opinions and viewpoints are offensive because they are not identical to this reviewer's.**

 **Imagine my shame and dismay.**

 **So, I decided to repent of my evil ways and write a story this person can appreciate.**

 **This one's for you anonymous, guest reviewer:**

 **-l- -l- -l- -l- -l- -l- -l-**

Once upon a time, there lived a perfect princess named Paige. She had no faults and was beautiful and benevolent to every creature she encountered. Even cockroaches, lice and all forms of vermin.

One day she met an evil, unfeeling, autism-spectrum ogre named Walter who stole her away from her life of kindness to others and forced her to come to work with him in his lair.

Because Paige was a gentle soul, it caused her to make her first and only mistake ever. She actually tried to love Walter and teach him about feelings and loving others. She also tried to make him appreciate art and music and other things incomprehensible to someone for whom emotions don't easily translate. She even taught him the concept of the 'white lie'. But that horrible, hateful ogre did everything all wrong.

So without allowing him the chance to explain, she dumped that awful, pestilent ogre, making sure to humiliate him in front of everyone whose opinions he valued. But that wasn't nearly enough punishment. He deserved to be destroyed, so she threw his deepest fear in his face and did her best to ruin his livelihood as well.

Princess Paige never looked back. She found a handsome prince who massaged her tired feet after each hard day of stealing clients as he listened to all the old classics with her. She soon forgot about that nasty ogre, whatever his name was.

The ogre died lonely and alone in a cave because he couldn't afford to pay for the roof over his head. Which was obviously justified because he struggled with relationships and didn't deserve love and kindness and forgiveness. Those things are reserved for perfect angels like Paige!

And Paige lived happily ever after.

THE END

 **AN AGAIN: I refuse to debate personality traits of fictional characters. There is no telling what one of them would do or would not do. It is solely based on personal opinion. While I appreciate this guest reviewer for taking loads of time and going back to read my stories, I really can't understand why said reviewer would bother reading the scribblings of an inexcusably, heinously biased author such as myself. And I'd like to issue the following invitation:**

 **If you don't like my point of view, exercise your free will and don't read my stuff.**

 **Is that concept too hard?**

 **Then maybe you're the one who needs therapy if fan fiction upsets you to this degree. I honestly can't understand why you'd read fan fiction at all because that series finale should've been completely satisfying for you in every possible way.**

 **\- Sincerest apologies to my regular readers and _constructive,_ encouraging reviewers. When 'guests' leave reviews, this is the only way to answer them.**


End file.
